haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
