I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize