Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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