remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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