I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
