wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
