Where did you get a picture of my penis
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
