I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
