Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
