Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
