wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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