i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize