is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
