Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you never un-have a 4some
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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