I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
