I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
