We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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