i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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