Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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