Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
