do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
