This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
