If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize