the day after is always just damage control
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
