What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
