this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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