Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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