Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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