My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
