i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize