i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize