im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
