They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
