The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I had to cum in my sink.
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