They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
