i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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