okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
