Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize