they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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