Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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