I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
