; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize