Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
