please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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