AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
