Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize