Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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