is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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