I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
