I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
