You just made me feel so damn special
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
