I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have already put on my inside pants.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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