didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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