You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think my fart just growled at me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize