Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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