Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
