He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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