I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
