end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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