Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize