no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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