we have officially lost it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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