I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
