How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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