can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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