Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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